This is the letter that Blades and I wrote to be read at Kyndals funeral.
We would like to thank you for sharing with us this special day for Kyndal and our family. Your love and support has meant so much to us. We hav been able to make this tragic event into a peaceful and calm blessing.
Kyndal was a very active baby from the beginning. At week 12 when I had my first ultrasound, we watched the little bean jumping around in my tummy on the screen. Even the technician was suprised at how much movement was happening. At week 19 we had another ultrasound and found out that she was a girl. Cori was in tears because we were hoping for a girl to bring some pink into our house full of blue. We wondered from there what she would look like. Blades thought she would be blonde and blue eyed like her brothers, and Cori was sure she would be dark haired like her mother.
As the pregnancy went on, she was constantly active. One night while Cori had just laid down for the night, it felt like Kyndal did a summersault in there. My whole body shook and it actually startled me. A few nights before her scheduled arrival, Blades made me a poptart and brought it to me in bed on a pink plate. I rested it on my belly, and watched it dance as Kyndal moved. We both watched and enjoyed the sight of this plate bouncing around. In late August we decided to switch doctors. A good friend had suggested Dr. Guzman and the moment we met him, we both felt so comfortable and at east with his care. His concern that Kyndal would be large was his first concern. He ordered extra ultrasounds to measure her growth, and he made a plan to deliver her at 37 weeks if her lungs were developed. He was worried that my uterus would get too large causing a potential risk during surgery.
We took Camden and Case to one of our last appointments so they could hear her heartbeat. The nurse let Camden squeeze the cold gel on my tummy. When Dr. Guzman came into the room, he knew why Kyndal was measuring larger than normal just by seeing her big brothers. We laughed as Dr. Guzman teased us that Kyndal would come out walking and talking and saying " Hi Dr Guzman.. where's my abacus?".
Time was getting close for Kyndals arrival and the list of honeydos was almost done. We were counting down the days before the amnio test was to be done. We were planning on delivery the next day as long as her lungs were ok. They monitoreed me and Kyndal before and after the test to make sure all was well. We waited anxiously for the results to come back, and found out that her lungs werent quite ready yet. They were close enough to deliver the next week without having to do another amnio. Cori cried for a moment, expecting Kyndal the next day, and we all wondered what we were going to do for a whole week. We started coming up with new projects like curtains and painting the crib.
Wednesday when Cori woke up she made sure Kyndal was moving around before getting out of bed as she always did. The day was pretty normal with errands and a trip to the park with the kids that evening. After dinner, Cori realized she hadnt felt Kyndal move much that day, although she was having small contractions. Blades gave her a blessing and we called the triage nurse to ask a few questions. She suggested Cori eat and drink something sweet, lay in a dark room and count how many times she felt her move in an hour. After loading up on Reese's and Junior Mints and laying there for 40 minutes, Cori still didnt feel her move. Blades was ready from the beginning to just go to the hospital, but Cori was certain if she just waited a few more minutes, she would feel Kyndal move. We left in a hurry and went to the hospital for monitoring. The drive there felt like we would never get to the hospital. The triage nurse hooked me up to a monitor, and struggled with finding her heartbeat. Dr Guzman was already at the hospital and came in to do an ultrasound. As he looked for a heartbeat and not finding one he hung his head down and silently whispered "no" with tears in his eyes. He cried with us and we couldnt believe our little Kyndal was gone. He gave us the option of going home for the evening, or delivering that night. We knew we couldnt make it home and then have to come back the next day. We called Cori's mom who was with the boys and she rushed down to the hospital. We also called Coris good friend Lari to be with Grandma so she wouldnt have to be alone during surgery. Dr. Guzman let us know that he would be there all night and just to let him know when we were ready for surgery. During that time, he called his mother who is also an OB, and explained the situation and asked what more he could of done. She assured him, that he had done all he could. In the short time we have known him we have become friends and he was concerened that he wouldnt be able to fully focus on the surgery at hand, so he called in one of his associates to assist him.
Kyndal was delivered at 3:26 am on October 8, 2009. Weighing 7 lbs, 14 oz and measuring 20 inches long. Blades was able to watch the surgery and saw Dr Guzman have to remove the cord from Kyndals neck. Cori got to take a quick peek at her and moments later Cori realized she didnt know the color of her hair yet and asked Blades to look for her. " she has dark hair" blades said.. Cori had won the bet. It took some time to decide on her name. We had a few favorites, but chose Kyndal Ann 2 week prior. Cori remembered that the meaning of Kyndal in our baby naming book means " quiet" . How appropriate for our baby.
Kyndal was able to be with us the entire time. Grandma gave Kyndal her first bath, a tradition that we were happy to continue. From then on, we were able to spend some time with her and look at her perfect body. It looked as though she would open her eyes at any moment. It gave us great comfort at how beautiful and perfect her body is. The time spent with her also gave us a spiritual connection with Kyndal. Blades was able to call a good friend to assist him in giving Kyndal a name and a blessing. She wore the same blessing dress as Cori did as an infant. She was blessed that her passing would bring more spiritual enlightenment to her family and that we would have a greater understanding of priesthood power and eternal families.
With the knowledge of the restored gospel, we know Kydnal is with a loving Heavenly Father. We never asked why this happened to Kyndal or our family. We just feel blessed to have a perfect daughter in heaven waiting for us/ We were married and sealed in the temple, and we were promised that we will be an eternal family.
When we explained to Camden and Case that Kyndal was back with our Heavenly Father, Camden said" so Heavenly Father is taking care of her now?" How sweet it was to hear those words from our 5 year old who also knows from going to Primary what a loving Heavenly Father we have. Case pointed to my tummy and said " baby gone?". We know the questions will come, but how grateful we are that our little family will be together forever.
We are grateful for the Drs and nurses who made us feel so comfortable, never rushing us and being so sensitive to our situation. We got great care and feel so blessed to have had a great experience at the hospital.
The prayers of family and friends have meant the world to us. We have never felt so calm and at peace about anything in our lives. The prayers are carrying us through this difficult time. Thank you to those who are serving our family. It is what the Lord would want and we appreciate your visits and prayers in our behalf. Thank you for sharing Kyndals special day with our family.
Kyndal.. we love you, miss you and cant wait to see you again.
Our love,
The Whites
Williams, Whites and Millers
the reeds party.. the parents lined up and the kids came to trick or treat
Camden and Chloe .. theyve been friends for 3 years now. arent they adorable
Case got this from the cakewalk.. a classic fall carnival game
Blades and Camden
Case and Cori
fishing.. another classic
Camden's buddies
His Princess's
My boys
at the trunk or treat.. we had a few extra kids.. it was hard chasing extras.. but with some help we all had a great time and glad they could join in on the fun
brotherly love..
getting ready
a cute gingerbread house.. halloween style
fun at scnepf farms
Camden and Chloe loved this rickety old rollercoaster. they are the third seats back.. camden with his arms up..and Chloe's hair in the wind
riding the gocart kinda bikes
Blades and Camden way in the back
Sydnee, Blades Case and Camden.. on the track
Cori and Case. watching the others ride.. Case wasnt a fan of any of them
On top of the haystack
Camden didnt like the feel of the pumpkin guts.. can you tell by his face??? ha ha
